Round1. Match2.

	Round1.Match2.	PlayerProfile	PlayerProfile
	Ike Austin Vs Greg Ostertag. By George Wang. Our second match looks at possibly the two fattest and laziest players in the N.B.A today. Ike ( the Sloth ) Austin who is trying to emulatethe heights reached by his current role model Oliver Miller, and Greg ( boot camp ) Ostertag, who presumably was deprived of much needed oxygen to the brain during early childhood, hampering vital mental development. Both of these guys won't be out of place in the NBL let alone the NBA.	Name : Ike austin Height : 6'10" Weight : 270 lbs DOB : 18/09/1969 College : Arizona St. Position : Center Draft : 52nd pick	Name :Greg Ostertag Height : 7'2" Weight : 280 lbs DOB : 03/06/1973 College : kansas Position : Center Draft : 28th pick

PostScoring.

Ostertag has the one deadly post move, many experts have tried to analyze and describe it but it has alluded them until now. Teriyakimmm.com has finally unravalled the secrets to this patented maneouver. And now I officially name this move the turnover. Conversely, Austin does have a nice repertoire of low post offense. He can kill you with the low post spin, or the baseline fade away jump shot, or the turn around jump hook. All of which are highly effective against defenses. Too bad they can only be seen while playing NBA live 2000 on the Playstation.

Score - Ostertag 1 defeats Austin 3.

Blocking.

By looking at the stats for last season, we see Ostertag was ranked 9th in the league in blocks at 2.12bpg. This seems very impressive and less experienced analysts would jump up and hail the Tag a blocking machine. Furthermore they would believe that the O is indeed, deserving of a high score. That is why I'm writing the articles around here. Upon closer inspection of the blocks per poster ratio, ( measured as number of blocks divided by the number of posters ) we see that a ratio of 1 to 10 giving us a much better picture of Ostertag's true prowess. Bad luck Tag. On the other hand, Austin does not get any blocks, full stop. so he doesn't even have a blocks to poster ratio. Even if he did, the number would be too big to comprehend. The Tag wins.

Score - Austin 0 defeats Ostertag 2.

Rebounding.

At least these guys are fat and tall, as people say, as the game goes on players get tired but they don't shrink. So the taller player always has the advantage. Otherwise they would not even get the tiny numbers they get now. The ability to jump more that 2 inches and to not be outrun down the court by Arvidas Sabonis might also help. These two displays none of these sought after attributes. Ostertag does have better numbers though.

Score - Austin 2 defeats Ostertag 4.

Shooting.

Ostertag has a range of 1 ft. He does not venture more than that far away from the basket so he couldn't take a jump shot even if he wanted to. That is why the Tag has taken the missed layup to lofty new hights. On the other hand, Austin believes that he is an offensive gem. So he takes his shots from 18 ft and inward, to the coache's dismay, this is because he only makes those closer than 6 ft. He wins though because he attended the Steve Carfino shooting academy for budding NBA stars. One of our very generous sponsors!

Score - Ostertag 1 defeats Austin 4.

CareerAchievements.

Ostertag's claim to fame is blocking Jordan! Michael's name sake Reggie that is. While Austin did very well in making everyone believe that he deserves much more that to play in the China league while backing up Alonzo Mourning in Miami. Although he probably deserves to play in the Burmese league.

Score - Austin 4 defeats Ostertag 5.

FinalVerdict.

Its a tie! But do not fret, we have a special tie breaker in such situations to determine the real winner.

Score - Ostertag 13/50 draws Austin 13/50.

TieBreaker - PhotoQuality.

After close examination of the photos above and then a lengthy deliberation. A unanimous

decision was reached where Ostertag's I want your body right here right now baby smirk just beats out Austin's King Kong impersonation.

The Tag wins! The Tag Wins! The Tag Wins!

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