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	Round1.Match1.	PlayerProfile	PlayerProfile
	Shawn Bradley Vs Keith Closs. By George Wang. shawn ( the Preying Mantis ) Bradley and Keith  ( afro on a stick ) Closs are the two tallest players in the NBA. And in a league where 7 footers are revered these two give similar sized big men a real bad name. Looking at them play reminds me of a former skyscraper in Manute Bol. Only that Bradley and Closs play like Manute Bol with no arms and legs.Now that is saying something for the state of their games. So here is our first Battle Of The Chumps.	Name : Shawn Bradley Height : 7'6" Weight : 262 lbs DOB : 22/03/72 College : Brigham Young                   Position : Center Draft : 2nd pick	Name : Keith Closs Height : 7'4" Weight : 212 lbs DOB : 03/04/76 College : Central Connecticut State Position : Center Draft : not drafted

PostScoring. Bradley is definitely a post prescence...............not! And neither is Closs, being the seriously religious person that Bradley is, he views the N.B.A keyas somewhat of a creation by the forces of evil. Because whenever he ventures inside the paint, his power and skill are totally taken away. This is definitely not a good sign because the last time I checked my records, Bradley was still playing the Center position. Of course this could have changed and he could be the starting point guard for Dallas now. Similarly, Closs is also totally wasted when it comes to post up offense. At the staggering weight of 212 lb, I cringe every time he attempts to post up opposition point guards in fear that he might snap in half from all the bump and grind against those big bodies such as Rod Strickland and Allen Iverson. Bradley draws first blood, only because he weighs more. Score - Closs 1 defeats Bradley 2. Blocking. Both these guys are blocking machines .......... against the likes of Brevin Knight or Dana Barros. If anyone over the height of 6'5 or the weight of 220lbs ventures into the paint against these giants, expect them to be dunked on unceremoniously. It seems that Bradley is embarrased to block anyone smaller than him. Frequently letting players dunk in his face. And Closs? Well the snap in half factor takes precedence once again. So self preservation is a real factor here for Keith. Better off living to fight another day. Score - Closs 2 defeats Bradley 3. Rebounding. You would think that being so tall, these guys should just eat up the boards. Wrong! Bradley and Closs are the most pathetic rebounders for their size in the entire universe. Any efforts they make when opposition centers and power forwards are within a radius of 30 ft will be futile as they will only rebound balls that fall into their lap with no one else in the key. Every time they try to box out ( not very often ) these two face the risk of being pushed into the cheap seats because both are so weak. And when they're not boxing out, they are often just watching the ball fall into the opposition's grasp. Closs though does have a nice vertical leap while Bradley has been nail gunned to the floorboards. Maybe somebody should also tell them both that they can go to the gym once in a while. Score - Bradley 2 defeats Closs 5. Shooting. Why even waste my time. Both are bricklayers Score - Bradley 0 draws Closs 0. CareerAchievements. These are the only two players that model their entire game on Manute Bol. Bradley's greatest achievement was negotiating his way into the no. 2 draft position or the time he was postered by Eddie Jones when he was with the Sixers. The Philadelphia crowd proceeded to chant Jones' name.  Closs' ability to keep his head from snapping off under the tremendous weight of that huge afro and the fact that every player in the league has faced him atleast once are also great achievements. Score - Bradley 3 draws Closs 3. FinalVerdict. After the complicated task of tallying their respective scores, haha!! We find out that Bradley defeats Closs in a tight one. So the preying mantis can look forward to his position in round 2, foreign soil for him as he has never got this far in his entire career. Score - Bradley 10/50 defeats Closs 11/50. Back to battle index.

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