Q1. How do you hold a basketball in your hands?
A. I try to palm the ball all the time just like the pros do it in the N.B.A
B. With 2 hands, making sure that I look like Andrew Gaze from every angle.
C. Like a netball sissy, always ready for the chest pass.
D. I can't hold a ball properly.
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Q2. Who do you try to emulate when you play?
A. Michael Jordan. Because he is the best and I worship him.
B. Shane Heal cause he is the 'Hammer'.
C. Michelle Timms cause she looks and plays like a guy.
D. My grandma cause she used to play a mean game of netball.
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Q3. When you play socially, do you try to?
A. Dunk on all my friends even though I can hardly touch the rim.
B. Try to win by hogging the ball all the time.
C. Give everyone a go, cause its only a game after all.
D. Hide, in case you break a nail or accidentally roll your ankle by actually moving.
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Q4. I think the best move in basketball is?
A. 360 degrees-windmill-reverse-tomahawk-fadeaway poster dunk on the whole of the opposition team. Including the bench.
B. A clutch in your face game winning shot.
C. Dribbling up and down the court.
D. The turnover.
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Q5. How would you describe your game in three words?
A. Michael Jordan Esque.
B. Matt Nelson Esque.
C. Vicky Wilson Esque.
D. Too many words.
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Q6. How do you best describe your shooting style?
A. Fading into the crowd just like Mike.
B. Don't know, whatever is comfortable for me.
C. Like the WNBL players, ball is released from the chest.
D. Under-arm from the knees with full extension.
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Q7. How often do you watch N.B.A on TV?
A. Every time Michael Jordan is playing.
B. Whenever there is a good game on.
C. I don't get to watch N.B.A but I read the scores on the newspaper and pretend I saw the game.
D. I only watch the WNBL because it is much better.
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Q8. Who won the N.B.A title last season?
A. Any team that Michael Jordan plays for cause he cannot lose.
B. The LA. Lakers
C. Some netball team that Shaq and Kobe plays for.
D. the Brisbane Broncos or was that the Sydney Swans?
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Q9. If I'm shooting the trey, I am?
A. Doing a Michael Jordan Impersonation.
B. Shooting a 3-pt shot.
C. Taking a low percentage shot for a female player.
D. Trying to kill a rampant device used for carrying drinks and food stuffs with my hand pistol.
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Q10. If I rejected someone, I have just?
A. Done something that no one can do to Michael Jordan.
B. Blocked an opponent's shot.
C. Did something illegal seen in netball.
D. Declined to go out with the opposite sex for personal reasons.
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Q11. Who is your favorite player in the N.B.A and why?
A. Michael Jordan because he is the greatest in the world.
B. Shaq cause he is the greatest in the whole world.
C. Reggie Jordan cause his name sounds like Michael Jordan.
D. Moses Malone cause I think he's the same person as Karl Malone. ( is Moses still alive? )
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Q12. What are we doing when we play horse?
A. Playing a game that Michael Jordan devised to torment his opponents.
B. A two player game in shooting.
C. Oh I just love to ride on my pretty ponies. Especially the pretty white ones.
D. I'm too young to do any horsing around. hehe!
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Q13. Name Two N.B.A teams starting with the letter S.
A. Chicago Bulls, North Carolina Tar Heels.
B. Sacramento Kings, Seattle Supersonics
C. Sarajevo Supersonics, Sydney kings.
D. Does S come before or after T?
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Q14. What do you think of Steve's bball credentials?
A. He is crap.
B. He is crap.
C. He is crap.
D. He is crap.
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Q15. If a team was trailing by two points with 1 second to go on the clock, what kind of play would they need to win the game?
A. Something only Michael Jordan could perform. A miracle.
B. A three point shot or a three point play.
C. Everybody knows that they can't win because all netball goals are worth only 1 points.
D. I'm not good with maths questions, I pass.
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Q16. How much would you be willing to pay to attend the Steve Carfino Shooting Academy for Budding N.B.A Stars?
A. Anything if it is endorsed by Michael Jordan.
B. Between $20 to $30 per lesson.
C. I would rather spend the money going clothes shopping.
D. All my allowance, $1.50 per week.
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Q17. Steve Carfino used to play for which N.B.L team?
A. Not the Bulls that's for sure.
B. The Sydney Kings.
C. Dandelong Rangers?
D. Manchester United.
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Q18. What does the MVP stand for?
A. Michael Jordan is the best.
B. Most valuable Player.
C. Most Valuable Present.
D. A car made by Mazda? ( that's MPV stupid )
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Q19. Steve Carfino's favorite food is?
A. Michael Jordan breakfast weeties.
B. Wouldn't know. Maybe pasta?
C. Definitely something that will keep his calories down.
D. butter on bread with hundreds and thousands.
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Q20. The Steve Carfino Shooting Academy will be?
A. A program designed to create Michael Jordan clones.
B. A total success.
C. Not as attractive as a 50% off everything fashion sale.
D. ................... ( Brain has exploded from too much thinking )
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Mostly A's
The legendary No.23 is gone forever. You can now only see him in a suit and tie making bad decisions in the Wizard's front office. Now is the perfect time to find yourself an identity instead of just being the millions and millions of Jordan followers out there. Steve Carfino's shooting academy for budding NBA all stars is the perfect place to start the search. Our friendly team here will make it our foremost task to move you away from the boring and predictable moves of Jordan and bring showtime back to your play by moulding you in the vision of Steve Carfino himself.
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Mostly C's
It is apparent that you are a typical female that knows absolutely nothing about basketball, so much so that you often mistake it for netball, a completely and totally inferior game. If you are not a female, then you might seriously want to consider a sex change. Anyway, the Steve Carfino Shooting Academy for Budding N.B.A stars
is not for you. But the Steve Carfino video set of Netball drills might be of help. See phone number at the bottom of this article for more information about that terrific product.
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Mostly B's
Either you took this quiz too quickly or you just wanted to get all the right answers.Both ways, you are just the type of person that Steve Carfino is looking to take under his wing and teach you all that he knows about the game of basketball. This will take approximately 20 to 25 minutes depending on how much you are willing to pay.
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Mostly D's
Most likely, you have been hit on the head too many times by a basketball. But we at the Steve Carfino Shooting academy for Budding N.B.A stars are equal opportunity so we still welcome you with open arms. Refer to the phone number on the bottom of the screen to enrol now.
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